Anyone?

Oh, what do you do with a two-year-old

who puts ear swabs in the sink?

Do you spank him away,

saying no all the day,

or just laugh and go buy some more?

Without a two-year-old, life would be a bore.

Oh, what do you do with a two-year-old

who hits and kicks and cries?

Do you try a time out,

or scream, swear, and shout,

or tell him that it's not nice?

Flopping on the floor myself, I've done once or twice.

Oh, what do you do with a two-year-old

who makes a shrill sound at Wal-Mart?

Do you wearily smile

at the people in the aisle,

or duct tape his mouth quickly?

I hurried out of the store, but that's just me.

Oh, what do you do with a two-year-old

who's addicted to Nemo and Cars?

Do you watch them again,

letting him win,

or see if he'll play in his room?

I'm hoping he will love Up, pretty soon.

Oh, what do you do with a two-year-old

who blames his toots on his Da-ee?

Do you laugh right along,

making up a song,

about how your husband's gassy?

This sounds like it might be fun and sassy.

Oh, what do you do with a two-year-old

who rules your house and lives?

Do you let him be in charge

and a pain-in-the-rear that is large,

or do you give him boundaries?

If you know how to do the latter, tell me please.

Oh, what do you do with a two-year-old

who sweetly says "Mom" often?

Do you kiss him a lot

and be grateful you got

a son whose personality shines bright?

Even if he takes off his diaper at night.