The Birthday Party Horror

Hi. I'm Cael, and I'm a birthday-phobic. The week before my third birthday, my dad had his special day. My mom and dad had figured out that I was not looking forward to my big day. Go figure. I'd cry and say, "Mo birfday," whenever they mentioned it. Presents? Balloons? Cake? None of it convinced me to want to have one of these so-called celebrations. Mom-mom thought that, by making Da-da-ee's birthday extra fun, I would want my birthday to come. She put up signs, blew up balloons, made a cake.  It all looked pretty good to me. Gramma came over to eat dinner with us; Nicole, Shane, Kiki, and Parker joined us later to eat cake. Hey, this isn't so bad, I thought. Birthdays are great.

"Happy birthday to you..." What are they singing? Is that Oatmeal Creme pie on fire? (My mom has this thing about someone spitting on the cake while blowing out the candles, so she puts the candles on something else to discard after the saliva-ridden breath puts out the flames.) Anyway, I digress. Fire and birthday song. That is the combination that I do not like. I stuck my lip out so far I could've caught a fly, and I cried. I cried during my dad's birthday song. Happy what? They laughed at me, and then they ate German chocolate cake. I tried to recover from the trauma.

Fast forward to about a week later...

It is my third birthday party, but I am not yet three. Whatever. I don't know any better, my mom tells people.

The signs are back up. Balloons fill up the room. Thirty or more balloons. Yes! Many of my favorite people begin to arrive with bags and wrapped gifts for me. Woohoo! Things are going well for awhile. Everyone is eating, I am playing, and life is good.

Until Mom-mom decides to turn this into a nightmare. She tries to soften the blow by having the crowd sing the ABC's instead of "Happy Birthday," but then she has to add fire to the fuel. Sure, there is a cool number three on one cupcake, and two other cupcakes with Life Savers around little candles. Nonetheless, flames emerge from them, and she puts them right in front of my face!

 I run quickly from the fire cakes. They continue to sing. I cry.

Once Mom-mom blows out the candles and the music ceases,

I approach the cupcakes and eat some.

 Opening presents was next. I get some awesome things.

 I do a great job thanking everyone, including Austin for his -ahem- totally legal copy of Cars 2.

To be continued (on Mom's birthday next month)...